She is the coordinator of Progetto Giovani at Studio Progetto Social Cooperativa. She is a youth worker. She is my friend. We have just started an easy chat next to a table in San Isidro, Costa Rica about the project, work issues then somehow more important topics came up such as love, kids, family…We laughed and cried together on her stories that it was the time to share. Her words really touched my heart because of its honesty about love, fear, being a colleague, a Girl, a Mother, a good human.
Marazinha: Hello Ale, how are you?
Ale: I am fine, very fine, thank you!
Marazinha: Where are we now?
Ale: We are in Costa Rica! (laughing)
Marazinha: What do we do here?
Ale: We are doing an international project here supported by European Commission according to the proposals of Erasmus+ programme Capacity Building in the field of Youth. Really tough project, however it is wonderful. I think this project has been a great opportunity for me to grow professionally, because it is really hard to manage everything. But it is a good challenge. So I am not the best, but I am improving through this project.
Marazinha: What is your task in this project?
Ale: I am the coordinator of the project on behalf of Studio Progetto. I am in charge of the coordination of the project, its activities, partners, and budget. Of course, I am sharing the responsibility with the head of Studio Progetto, Andrea Rilievo. Together we share a lot, we try to find solutions for the problems together, however, mostly I am following all the process.
Marazinha: What is this project all about?
Ale: The project is about migration and the human rights of the people who are moving from their countries to other countries. So we try to find solutions, and also sensitize people about their rights because most of the European countries, but I saw here also in Costa Rica, migration is considered as a problem. So we want to see that it is a real problem or we can have some positive aspects as resources from that.
Marazinha: Besides coordinating this project, what are your daily tasks?
Ale: I am doing two different jobs basically. I am responsible for youth projects in Valdagno. I have to manage eight people. So we have to organise programs and realise different actions in order to involve young people from our communities into different fields such as how to look for a job, guidance for education like which high schools or universities young people should choose based on their interests and needs. We do also participatory activities like different events. We have really nice events when we involve the whole local community entitled “Valdagno che Legge”, it means “Valdagno Reads”. It promotes the culture and the love for books; we do public readings, plays and we do a big event about comics and cosplayers and it is also a really nice event. Then we are promoting volunteering on local associations with local people, so we try to use their time usefully for the local community. We cooperate with the Town Council of Valdagno. They are really sensitive towards the migration topic, because our city has entered into a system that gives support for migrants who have already received the refugee statutes. We are managing this part of the support as Studio Progetto. I personally do not work with them, however as locals we are really sensitive towards this topic and put our money and face to this topic meanwhile Italy is going to the opposite direction nowadays. The Italian government now is trying to cut everything we can do for welcoming and hosting of people who are coming from Abroad. Valdagno is still working in a different way comparing to the Italian government. So the name of the local youth project, that I am coordinating, is Progetto Giovani. We are also doing a festival that promoting human rights. Every year we choose a different topic and we speak about different issues. For instance, last year we organised a festival in the beautiful park what we have in Valdagno called Favorita and we put the tents from the Civil Protection, exactly the same tents where the refugees are living in the camps when they escaping from their countries. We organised some debates and photography exhibitions plus we had invited some African ladies to run handicrafts workshops. So we invited the local population to work with them through these handicraft workshops. And of course, we organised different events for young people in related with music and food. We have tasted different food. For example in this year we had a group of Serbian people who cooked us their food and mostly the Serbian meat. It was, of course, really nice event. This is the local part of my job. The other one is managing the European projects. We are working mostly with Erasmus+ programme. We work with a quite big international partner network and we organise youth exchanges for young people, training courses for youth workers, and we are also active in European Solidarity Corps and applying for Volunteering projects. Last year we had applied for European Citizens programme as well, and now we can run another project on migration topic. There the target group is not only young people but citizens in general. We start now this another big project and it will be a great challenge, because we are quite new in this field, however I think the idea was really good. Then also under the Erasmus+ programme framework, we manage two KA3 projects. One of them is to settle up youth policy in Province of Vicenza area. We have also a new project that has just started and 20 municipalities are involved from Vicenza Province.
Marazinha: It seems that you really like your job!
Ale: It’s true! In my job, every day is different, than the previous one. One hand it is really tiring for me, because mentally and physically sometimes it takes a lot of energy from me. However, I can work with young people and this gives me a very high level of motivation. And I have really a good staff and colleagues. I really love them, because they are really super effective and motivated. They always support me. So I am a really lucky person.
Marazinha: How did you land in this work place? How did you become a youth worker?
Ale: I was studying in the University and I studied law. I am a lawyer originally. I was just finishing my studies when I had an opportunity to work in the local youth information centre, because there were some vacancies. So I had started with a part time job in the youth information centre. Basically, I was hired like a youth information officer. I provided information for young people and offering what to do.
Marazinha: How a lawyer just decides to take such type of job?
Ale: During my studies, I clearly understood that law was not my cup of tea. How usually my friend Mara says (laughing). So, I think I just can’t agree with the ethic of the law. For instance, if you have to defend a person who is guilty, I could not make that. I planned to work in the youth information centre till I will get my degree. My plan was just to keep this job and have a part time traineeship in a lawyer office. But only for this reason that I wanted to understand that my feelings against being a lawyer during the University were real. In Italy in that time and I think also now, meanwhile you are studying law, you are only studying. So you don’t have practice. I have never seen a high court. I have never seen an office of a lawyer, never really touch the real job. I was just studying articles, codes, European institutional rights, public rights, private rights, and so on. It was really boring for me. I think I can confess. (laughing) My plan was then, that after my degree, I could work partially for both. But in the meantime, I became pregnant. (laughing) That was something that is really changed my life. I became a Mum and my priority is completely changed. So during my pregnancy I got my degree, because I had decided to finish my studies really fast. As I really liked the job in the youth information centre, I was a bit lazy to finish my studies before. I think only my thesis was missing and I kept saying ok I will do it tomorrow, I will do it tomorrow, I will do it tomorrow. Then when I discovered that I am pregnant, I had decided that OK, now I have to finish, I have to take my degree right now. I took my degree, then after 5 months my baby was born, my priorities had really changed. When I came back to my job, I had the opportunity to increase my working hours, so I made the decision that this is what I really want to do.
Marazinha: How did you decide that you want to study law in the first place? What was your inspiration in the beginning?
Ale: When I was studying in the high school, I didn’t like maths, so simply I had just chosen a Faculty where maths was not involved. I considered also studying languages, however I really didn’t see any perspective for me in this field. Nevertheless, during my University studies, I admired Erasmus studies in Abroad; I studied 6 months in Spain. And what was the most inspiring for me is the international part of the materials that I studied. Somehow, I feel that what I am doing now, it comes from my curiosity for the world and for the people who are not living next to me. So discover the cultures. This is the reason why I have to deal with European projects. In the beginning I discovered the European projects, because I was in charge for the Eurodesk relay of the Youth Information Centre, so I understood what youth exchange and training course are, and I said OK, let’s give to the people concrete opportunities. So we had decided with Andrea (Andrea Rilievo, the manager of Youth sector and Studio Progetto) ok, why don’t we start to provide concrete opportunities for our young people? Because if they wanted to attend to a youth exchange, they had to go to Padova, to other big cities that are 2 hours far from Valdagno just to find the information. So we had decided that it was the time to realise this in our local community.
Marazinha: You are continuously speaking about young people and kids. What type of kid you were?
Ale: In the first part of my childhood, I was a really good girl. I was really good in the school, no problem at all in my family. But after when I went to the high school, I became a little bit naughty girl.
Marazinha: What does that mean? What was the biggest scandal what have you ever done?
Ale: I can not say… (laughing) sorry!!!
Marazinha: So say the second one, the public one!
Ale: Uhm, when I was around 15 – 16 years old, I was sleeping in the house of one of my friends. We waited when her parents felt a sleep, and we escaped from home to the night, then in the morning we came back. We had done these lot of times. We stayed out all night long and we came back 4 or 5 o’ clock in the morning and went in the bed.
Marazinha: And the parents never realised that?
Ale: No! Their house had different floors, so her parents slept in one floor and fortunately we were in another floor. We sneaked out through the garage. All details were planned well.
Marazinha: Now you have to reveal some of your dirty secrets (laughing)!
Ale: Well, I really tried out all things that parents forbid to their kids like for example, tasting alcohol. So I was an absolutely a normal teenager.
Marazinha: What about your hair colour?
Ale: Well, when I was a university student, I had decided that I want to wear a blue hair. (laughing) Nowadays, this is normal, however in that time, people called me freak. Then I met my love during this period, so he was like me and it calmed me down.
Marazinha: How did you meet? Was it love at first sight?
Ale: It was really unbelievable. I worked a lot during my studies. Before the youth office, I worked as a waitress and bartender and as a shop-assistant in a food store meanwhile being a University student. My father passed away when I was 20 years old, and my mother could not afford to support me financially anymore as much as it was needed. She could pay for my rent, however I had to earn money for paying all my other costs that were needed for living and studying. So I worked since I was 20 years old till the end of university and I made a lot of different jobs. During this period I worked also as a waitress in a pizzeria and Loris was doing his thesis and he was coming to take a pizza every Saturday and Sunday evening. As soon as I could see him entering in the door, I had to hide in the kitchen because I became red like a pepper (laughing), and I had to breathe and keep my control. Then I came out from the kitchen and started to chat with him. And that was it. I really liked him. One evening when I was out with my friends I saw him in a bar and I saw the poster that announce the students who successfully graduated.
Marazinha: What was this poster about?
Ale: Oh, maybe you do not have such type of habit! We call it “papiro di laurea”. When you get your degree, they organise a very big awful party and all the friends of the graduated person make lots of jokes, such as throwing him eggs, flowers, they put you in the fountain of the city, etc. Besides these, your friends prepare a poster from your caricature and they write the story of your life in very ironic and sexual way. So, I saw his poster, it was on the walls of the city. So I went to him and I congratulated to him for his degree. I had to take really all my courage to do that. And he just asked me if I want to go with him visiting to an exhibition in Vicenza tomorrow. Of course, I answered yes. (laughing) So we went out two or three times together, but he was really popular among women. I had just felt that he does not really take me serious. I was not an easy girl in this sense, so I had decided to stop this relationship. I said to myself that I like him very much, but I do not want to hurt myself or being in pain, because I knew that he would destroy me. Then I had an other boyfriend meanwhile in the university. After one year I had started to see Loris again. We had a lot of common friends, so we were going out again together and having fun. And still I really liked him. I had decided to break up with my boyfriend, and I had started my story with Loris. But he was different now in that time. So I trusted in him. I took my risk. We had a common friend, you know her, Valeria. I said to her that one day I will marry with this man. She said that you are crazy, you will be not that girl, he has lots of girls around him…then after 20 years I managed to marry him, so… (laughing) I was the winner.
Marazinha: How long it take to become married?
Ale: It was 1997 when we had started our love story and we got married 19 years later.
Marazinha: If I know well, your kids inspired you to be married in the end.
Ale: Yes. Nevertheless, in a certain point of my life I gave up. I didn’t mind not to be married or worrying about that. I was really upset when he asked me to be married. Because, c’mon, I was waiting for this all of my life and now why would I want to say NO. Of course, I said YES. (laughing). Yes, the kids were asking us to be married for long time, so in the end, before he was getting 50 last year, he was thinking about his life and he considered that he has a beautiful family and a good life and the only one thing that is missing from his life is being married. So that’s why he had decided to do this task.
Marazinha: Why was it so important to your kids to be married?
Ale: I really don’t know because we are a family anyway. There is no difference before or after. Maybe it was not good for their friends to know that we are not married. They feel a bit different, I don’t know why. They just asked us to be married. I think maybe just to feel more secure.
Marazinha: Do you see yourself in your kids?
Ale: I recognise a lot of things in my daughter, Anna, from me, however in the same time she is absolutely different. She has the same personality. If she wants to achieve something, she is working for it till the end. She never gives up. She is the same like me in her age, which means, that she believes that she knows everything. She always has her reasons, so that’s why she is fighting with her father. That’s why I understand her and try to mediate between them. Nevertheless, she is not like me in the sense that she is a bit fashion style girl. She likes shopping and in this sense, she is like my mother. All the time I am saying that Anna is the daughter that my Mother wanted to have. I was absolutely different. When I was young, I behaved as a boy. My favourite games were just hiding in the bush, going to the forest, and try to build house on the trees, and do such type of things and not playing with dolls. But she is really different in this sense. And what I really recognise in her from me that she is a bit introvert. She is really ok to be alone and I am the same. Sometimes I really like to stay alone. I don’t feel that I need someone around me. I don’t feel alone. I think this was really important when I was in Spain, because when you are abroad alone, you have to count on yourself. So she is like me in this sense. And Giacomo is like his father. He is a really good guy, putting other people first and not himself. So I think he is more like Loris. I don’t know if Giacomo has some of my personalities. I feel that Anna is more similar than me and Giacomo is more similar than Loris. If you are discussing with him, now he is 12 years old, maybe he is more matured, but till last year he was crying as a reaction during a discussion. He could not manage the situations emotionally. I was the same when I was a kid. I was not an angry fighter either. He is like me in this sense.
Marazinha: What have you learnt meanwhile becoming a Mother?
Ale: I think that you change your life perspectives; it means that you are not the first anymore. You have your kid and they are more important than your own life. If I fear for my life, than I have a fear only because of them that they are losing their mother. This is the feeling that you have in your worst nightmares. That you are dying maybe and if I am dying, I do not fear for me, I am afraid of leaving them alone. So yes, I learnt from them to think of other people before myself. And of course, you learn everyday by your kids. Because they are really surprising you! Kids are really amazing. They always have different points of views. Nevertheless, I think the best thing is just to see a life how it is growing, different personalities, how it is forming. This is a miracle, I think, because from zero to one year they start from zero and during one year they learn to walk so fast. And one year is nothing! And they are surprising you every day what they are thinking, what they are doing, what they are learning even from you. I think I am really lucky because, of course, they are my kids, they are the best for me, but they are two really great kids and I am really proud of them.
Marazinha: In the beginning, you mentioned that your biggest fear is that you pass away and they are staying alone…
Ale: Because when I was pregnant, Loris had a very bad accident. I was in seventh month waiting for a baby. He was in risk to die. In that moment I realised that my baby could be without a father. So that moment I thought this would be the worst loss for her. Of course, the life would go on, the show must go on, however you loose one of the most important people from your life. I lost my father and I lost some very important things with him. Nowadays, I am thinking about this. Because I feel that I miss him a lot…I believe that everything make you grown. Then still I miss my father. ..
Marazinha: I think you are absolutely that type of person, who just really cares with other people and not only just with your family, but even during your work with colleagues and young people. Maybe this is not only just your personality, but it can come even from your past experiences…How do you see yourself what are your strengths?
Ale: Well, I am good at mediation. I always try to find out a solution that can be comfortable for all the people around me. That’s not so good for me, because sometimes I am thinking of the others first, then I do not think of myself. And I don’t do what I really want to do, but I do staff for the other people. However, I feel really happy if I am able to find a solution when people are confronting or fighting. Frankly saying, I really do not like any conflicts. I know that conflicts have really positive impacts sometimes, and I try to make a good mediation process for that.
Marazinha: What makes you absolutely happy?
Ale: I feel happy when I can be only with my family. When we are at home all together and watching a film in the sofa. Doing normal things together. And I feel we are together and doing something all together. This really makes me happy. When we are going to holiday as only four of us. Then I feel that I am in peace. Of course, I am really happy to go and be also in Costa Rica… (laughing). I am really happy to go out also with my friends. However, the feeling that I have, what is really makes me happy is being with my family and we are doing nothing special, but we are all together. Simple things. We really do not need anything special, just being together.
